It has been a restful month in comparison to how January and February went. The Rheumatologist did not refer me back to the physical therapist, and so far, I’ve not had a reason to visit the PCP this month. I’ve spent more time going out for walks since the weather has been nice, which I hope will strengthen the muscles inn the area around the joints that are hypermobile or hyper extendible. (I’m also doing the physical therapy exercises I can do at home.)
It seems the biggest thing I’ve had to worry about this month, other than the possible upcoming housing crisis is whether or not my depression is getting worse. At least I’m not worried about it too much. My concern comes more from slacking in my grooming habits, such as taking a daily shower. I just don’t see the point if I’m not going out. Never mind that showers are always a good way to wake me up for at least a little while. (I’ve never been exactly sure why this is, and it doesn’t matter.)
Right now, I need to make some decisions on goals as well as how to balance certain things. I have something that can serve as a job that allows me to sit down most of the time and switch positions as needed, even if it is not quite what I want. (I still have to call Vocational Rehabilitation on Monday to set up an appointment I have a feeling that IU Health doesn’t want to send Vigo County records on a transgender person for a good reason, even though Vigo is one of Indiana’s “blue” counties.)
First, I need to decide where my values are on this. Although I still see myself as a writer, I’m not sure I can go back to content mill writing for long. At the moment, it may be a necessity, just as much as keeping it under the table is a necessity until I go through the Administrative law judge hearing.) I would rather blog again since this provides more of sense of purpose, even though it dos little to bring in actual income. At some point, I may take up the therapist’s suggestion that I start an LGBT group locally, but I really think this needs more thought. Maybe it is more important right now to have some income coming in to the house.
There’s also another matter to consider about this. Do I have enough spoons to make the effort worthwhile? If I can only do one or two stories before becoming too tired to concentrate, it’s not really worth the effort. (Note to self: Stop slacking and set up speech recognition on your laptop, Lara. You’re making your ‘tennis elbow’ as it’s listed on your medical paperwork worse.)
But at least right now, I’m listening to some enjoyable Celtic music, and getting the chance to relax a little bit. Later, I’ll go to the library and print some Mage: the Awakening character sheets out. (I much prefer the Old World of Darkness setting, Mage: the Ascension.) I hope I can handle running a LARP without it setting off my social anxiety or having a relapse of what set me off in January. I think I can avid the latter by avoiding otc nasal sprays and most pills with pseudoephedrine. If I can’t, it’s probably time to give up role playing games altogether.