sinisterporpoise

 The attempts at Cross stitch did not go well, but I am not too upset by their failure. I suspected my lack of coordination might be an issue for this particular task.  It’s probably more useful right now to continue my attempts to learn additional Spanish at least. (Duolingo says that I am still at 51%.)  There’s also that project that’s been on the back burner that I should really complete. It won’t take too long if I can just bring myself to do the editing. I am, unsurprisingly, lacking the motivation for the last part.  I’ve also noticed that Udacity has added an Android development course. I may pick that up if my language studies come to a satisfactory point that lets me rest a bit.  Even though things have not improved much, I am still in a good mood.  Things are stable for now.  Now, there’s the issue of the housemate suggesting I should check into my options in Pennsylvania, but that is six months away. For now, I have time to deal with this.  It may be time to look into getting the van back on the road and taking the chance to get the Hell out of Indiana. 

I am still grateful for having had the chance to live here for three years.  I have a wonderful friend and I have met interesting people.   I’ve even settled in a bit and gotten used to the ways of the Hoosier. I will even miss establishments like Steak ‘n Shake if I should leave the Midwest behind.   However, given how much I’ve complained about how this state has treated people in my situation, I doubt I’ll miss it that much.

Nothing is certain yet, and there may even be a way out of the particular situation, although it will not be through me getting disability. I still have yet to hear back from the Indiana Vocational Rehabilitation office, and the housemate has been doing a bit more earnest job searching. I’ve even suggested she return as an adjunct professor to the Indiana Vocational Technical College, or IVY Tech. I hope this works out for her. I hope she can find the CNC job she wants as well.

I cannot prove it, but I have a bit more than a vague feeling that things are starting to get better. Now, if  there would just be some actual change in circumstances that backs up my faith.

 I have learned that there is a word for the type of program I and others have been forced into. It’s called workfare, and the idea started, as many of these terrible ideas do, in the United States. It started the idea that people on welfare are caught in a cycle of dependency caused by moral deficiency, and the only way to correct this is to enforce ethical behavior upon them. Of course, no one in the United States is all that concerned about workfare programs or their effectiveness or lack thereof, but similar programs have been tried in the United Kingdom. The most recent example resulted in the deaths of hundreds of people.  The ministry responsible for administering these programs denied it at first, but since had to admit that some of their overreaching policies had caused these deaths.

If similar statistics occurred in the United States, no one has tracked them. I do know plenty of people who are as bas or worse than I am who have been force into these programs because it’s the client’s responsibility to report the changes to the state agency that administers these programs.   They are not forced into work assessment tests, unlike what seems to be happening in Great Britain. However, I did see one article that said that these programs count success by the number of people who go off of the welfare rolls, not by how many people who actually find work through these programs.  Many of the cities that tried these programs saw an increase in homelessness. The only exception to this rule was, oddly enough, Indianapolis. Indianapolis’s program had one key difference from the IMPACT program that later replaced it, the contract the workfare agencies had with the city paid the agency based on its successes, and success was defined by placing people into a job that met certain wage requirements.  When the state replaced Indy’s program with IMPACT, the statistics became comparable to other cities of its size.

No one in the United States seems to be concerned about people with disabilities who are forced into the program.  The Puritan work ethic, which continues to damage this country in so many ways continues. If a person cannot get out of the program, most people assume that they are faking a disability.   Sometimes even if a person can get out of the program, people assume they are still faking and just looking for a way to game the system.

I once subscribed to the attitudes held above. I might still resent being forced into a workfare program, but I would acknowledge that they are trying to help me and get me to the point where I want to be. If I’m honest, I will say that I’d still like to be there. My reality, however, is different. I know what my limits are.  Almost every single entry-level job requires me to stand for long periods of time. I cannot do that right now.   I’ve even been told to lay off driving, but I cannot do that as long as I have to stay in a workfare program, look for work and go to interviews. No one seems to think that the requirements of these programs make certain illnesses or conditions worse.  Even if the people who run them do realize this, they seldom care.

At this point, I cannot help but think that Workfare programs exist to give middle class people who could finish college government jobs and to give politicians something to point to and say, “Look at how many people this program got off of welfare.” The fact that the need for food pantries has gone up, that an increased number of people are homeless, and that -- at least in Great Britain – there are documented deaths caused by these programs has not caused any politician to rethink the idea of workfare.

http://www.nytimes.com/1997/06/24/nyregion/woman-s-death-prompts-concerns-over-workfare.html

Workfare Death List UK

I don't know if IMPACT considers this, but if these appointments are necessary to get me back to a point where I can accept a job, if such a thing is possible, I think they should count. I'll have two doctor's appointments, a therapist appointment, and an appointment with a a physical therapist this week, which will probably take up about 5 hours total if you include travel times, which in Terre Haute almost always include getting stuck behind a train once in a while.  This twenty hours a week thing is forcing me to spend spoons that could be better spent elsewhere.

 I have not wanted to complain about how unfair life is since High School, if I recall correctly.  This past year, however, has made me want to cry out to the heavens accusing some higher power of picking on me. Being forced out of my job for a condition over which I had no control, and later being forced into a work program because the state didn’t know about the condition has soured my mood general. Few things have gone well this year, but as I write this, I have to wonder how many other people have been forced into the same situation.

A number of conservative friends and relatives post about the moochers or about how people who have not earned their benefits should just get a job. One person even suggested cutting the meager benefits such people get in order to pay for Veteran’s benefits.  No one wants to cut Veteran’s benefits, but she assumes that people getting benefits either haven’t earned them or would not love to be off of them. Most people receiving food stamps – who are generally working – would love to not need them to get by. They work and their tax dollars help support the SNAP program. 

The people who are targeted the most by the programs designed to get the people described as  moochers off of these programs generally target a category of people known as able-bodied adults without dependents.  Indiana’s most recent change to its SNAP program forces people they have identified into a work program. The program only offers gas cards or job passes and job leads. It can also place someone into a Community Work Experience Program, which is unpaid. Somehow forcing someone to do free labor for a private firm or organization counts as helping people find a full-time job.

Perhaps I would be less annoyed if I were not forced into such a program myself. A few years ago, I would have applauded these programs for getting people off of welfare, but these programs are based on the idea that people who get benefits too long are lazy. Indiana assumes that its economy is booming, and the Republican-controlled legislature is rolling back expansions of some of the safety net programs. Many Red States are enacting similar regressive reforms. Perhaps I resent this program even more because I lost my job through no fault of my own.

The letter telling me I would be inducted into the job search program, called IMPACT, was followed up with a letter informing me of the orientation session.  When I went to the orientation session, I got the immediate sense that someone made a huge mistake, and it might have been me. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the people who just got out of prison and were forced into the same program. However, when they tried to come up with a plan for me, the person who tried to come up with my plan informed me that I could apply for jobs and it would not be held against me if I couldn’t do them. Rather than telling me how to get around this particular issue, she probably should have told me more about how to get out of this program.

(Note to self: Get doctor's note to get out of this program.)

Editing notes: Moochers probably should be changed.
 

I got the mail when I came back from a minor grocery shopping trip today. As I went through the mail box, I found a letter from the Indiana Department of Workforce Development and a letter from the Family and Social Services Administration. I did not know why the latter agency contacted me, but I did not expect the former one to have good news for me. I opened the letter without optimism after I put away the groceries.

It was not good news. It said that I could not get unemployment because I was not able and available. It included a penalty date, but it did not say when the penalty period would end. I assume this means it is an indefinite period, which means I am now stuck in the limbo of the disability system.

I would have been understandably upset at this letter, even though I expected this outcome. The other letter, however, added further insult. It was letting me know an IMPACT (Indiana Manpower and Comprehensive Training) session had been scheduled for me. I really want to cancel this because it’s a mistake, but I can’t afford to lose food stamp benefits right now.

I really wish life would just let up on me right now, rather than throwing one thing after another. It’d be nice if something happened that would make the current situation easier. And I seem to be losing appetite, another sign of depression. (Of course, one of my ways of dealing with depression is overeating, which isn’t good.)