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Trying to Be More Positive is Hard
Mar. 15th, 2015 12:40 pm I do not care for people who are positive all the time, although I know negativity can be draining. I also know I tend to focus towards the latter. When I encounter someone online who seems to be positive all the time, a darker part of me fantasizes about firing a crossbow bolt in their directions. In some cases, a large ax is involved, even though I have no particular fondness for axes. There are good reasons why I do my best to keep this part of my personality in check. I don't know if this has something to do with being socialized as male, although I'd like to think it has more to do with my German* heritage. (And yes, I know Mennonites, which my ancestors who came to this country were, are pacifists.)
Even though I often feel this way, I cannot be snarky or downbeat alot of the time. The latter end can be just as draining for the people around that person. It's why I'm excited to spring come after a long winter. It's also why I'll be happy to go see Insurgent sometime this week.
Sometimes, it is hard. Particularly if it's been a month filled with annoyances, which this March has been. Sure, it may be full of the type of struggles that some people say make life worth living, but that doesn't mean that these situations aren't stressful when they occur. Nor does it mean I will not engage in schadenfreude guiltily when the situation allows.
To let it all out, here is what this March has featured:
1.) finding out I needed to have my wisdom teeth pulled
2.) finding out my dental insurance doesn't cover teeth extractions the next day unless the tooth is damaged or infected
3.) Deciding to go see the doctor for nausea, stomach cramps and constipation. ( I was pretty sure Cymbalta was the cause.)
Note: I had also placed a temporary ban on doctor's visits until the next one in April.
4.) Being kept on Cymbalta because it wasn't and being given a new medication for IBS-C.
5.) Finding out I had bone spurs and being referred to a podiatrist at the same visit
6.) Getting a cold from the doctor's office. (It could just be seasonal sinusitis.)
7.) Going into a fibro flare and having to leave early on the first day of warm weather, ensuring a continued reduction in hours.
And of course, my old friend anxiety wants to make keep thinking about the worst possibilities for #5, even though my logical mind assumes it's just from poorly fitting shoes. I'll find out what it means on the 24th.
*From my mother's side. My father's family came from Switzerland, and might have an ancestor or two mentioned in the Martyr's Mirror.
**Yes, I'm engaging in stereotypes and shouldn't be.
Even though I often feel this way, I cannot be snarky or downbeat alot of the time. The latter end can be just as draining for the people around that person. It's why I'm excited to spring come after a long winter. It's also why I'll be happy to go see Insurgent sometime this week.
Sometimes, it is hard. Particularly if it's been a month filled with annoyances, which this March has been. Sure, it may be full of the type of struggles that some people say make life worth living, but that doesn't mean that these situations aren't stressful when they occur. Nor does it mean I will not engage in schadenfreude guiltily when the situation allows.
To let it all out, here is what this March has featured:
1.) finding out I needed to have my wisdom teeth pulled
2.) finding out my dental insurance doesn't cover teeth extractions the next day unless the tooth is damaged or infected
3.) Deciding to go see the doctor for nausea, stomach cramps and constipation. ( I was pretty sure Cymbalta was the cause.)
Note: I had also placed a temporary ban on doctor's visits until the next one in April.
4.) Being kept on Cymbalta because it wasn't and being given a new medication for IBS-C.
5.) Finding out I had bone spurs and being referred to a podiatrist at the same visit
6.) Getting a cold from the doctor's office. (It could just be seasonal sinusitis.)
7.) Going into a fibro flare and having to leave early on the first day of warm weather, ensuring a continued reduction in hours.
And of course, my old friend anxiety wants to make keep thinking about the worst possibilities for #5, even though my logical mind assumes it's just from poorly fitting shoes. I'll find out what it means on the 24th.
*From my mother's side. My father's family came from Switzerland, and might have an ancestor or two mentioned in the Martyr's Mirror.
**Yes, I'm engaging in stereotypes and shouldn't be.
