I miss you, Mom

 My mother or without her faults, died over twelve years ago I can’t say that she was a great mother or without her faults, but the thing is you only get one.  And I have to say my playful side definitely comes from her.     

Now, I just wish so much I could take back some of the things I said to her just before she died. If I’d known those final June days would have been the last chance I had to speak to her, I wouldn’t have said some of the things I did. Her mental illness episode had strained our relationship and I said things out of frustration. I certainly wish my last words to her hadn’t been, “Are you done in the bathroom?”

I want to tell her all the things I never got to tell her or never bothered to tell her. I wish she’d known she had two daughters and one son, and not one daughter and two sons as she’d thought. I’d want to know if the reason she favored my brother was because he was unplanned and therefore only required the participation of my father for a few seconds.  I’d want to know why she favored a hands-off style of parenting.  Most of all, I want to tell her that I loved her and I miss her.