I really need to find a balance here

 Starting blogging was a good idea for right now. If nothing else, it gives me something to do and keeps my mind off of an otherwise unpleasant situation. I also hope that what I’m doing is helping people in some small way, although I know the traffic statistics indicate that this is not happening.  I know. I lost the domain name and I had been gone for months. It takes time to build these things back up.  I am willing to put the work in.

Although after the third day of doing some relatively minor work, I have to wonder if I should start rethinking the speed of which I’m going about it. I’ve been flaring for the past couple of days, usually at night. (I’m not exactly sure what night time flares mean, if they mean anything at all.) Despite my TSH being normal, I’m finding that this process a draining. After a few hours I have to go lie and rest for a bit.

I know I should expect this. Even if it’s only Hashimoto’s, which I know by now it’s not, I shouldn’t expect my metabolism to return to normal right away. It’s only been three months since I started on Syntrhoid.  I know I’m wasting even more energy by writing this, but indulge me. I’m just thinking out loud.

Somehow I need to strike a balance between these two things, and not throw myself into the process with everything. I wish I had chosen a different hobby in this case, but there’s also a matter of self-identity here. I identify as a blogger, writer, and journalist. Whether or not I’m good at these things is another matter.  There’s a part of me that needs to do this.  Right now the part of me that needs to do this needs to find a way to balance itself with the part of me that’s living in the new reality.

Or as someone told me after I lamented my lack of ability to eat large meals without consequences, “That was before. You need to do the right thing for now.”

At least I don’t have to do sound editing on these.  But at least my plans to throw myself back into local journalism may go by the wayside if this is how I feel after a 300-word article. (Although the text-editing problems I had with it should have taken a few dozen spoons or so.)

On the plus side, it was a gorgeous day and I got a short walk in. I wish snow wasn’t in the forecast in the next few days.