sinisterporpoise

I ran across this word on my Facebook news feed. The word is Welsh in origin, and it does not have a direct English equivalent. It is homesickness with a sense of a nostalgia. A longing to return to the home of your past, coupled with a fear that such a place may never return. It also carries the idea that somehow, the place you remember may only have existed in your head. (Warning: I seem to be having a low spoons/mana day so I may end this post abruptly.)

For the past few months, I have longed to return to Pennsylvania, thinking that the return would improve my situation slightly. The Keystone State does provide greater support for people in my situation. I've avoided seeking out a return. Money is one barrier, but I also know that I may just want to believe that the grass is greener on the other side. Returning home would also mean dealing with my family on a more regular basis, and that can drain a lot of energy. I want to think that I'd be better off in Pennsylvania or any other blue state, but there is no guarantee that this would be the case.

On an unrelated note, I recall another conversation where I said I could accept being in pain for the rest of my life as simply how things are. I wouldn't mind this situation ending, but the response surprised me. The other party in the conversation said, "I don't like to think like that." I didn't think I was being negative, but I don't see how accepting things are they ARE could be misconstrued as negativity. I've found this to be a necessary step in dealing with other long-term problems.

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Ugh, I can't stand it when people scold (or at least chide) someone for their coping methods. I totally agree with you (and so does science): learning to accept (stop struggling against) unpleasant but probably permanent situations as being (again probably) permanent (or at least not something that we have the ability to change) is often necessary for finding peace and even for being able to pull out of a related (secondary) depression.

For example, being legally blind isn't something that's a source of angst and misery for me. I grew up knowing I'd never see any better (nor that it would get any worse), and there probably wasn't anything they could do to fix it someday, so I just got used to it. And that's okay; that isn't “negative” in an unhealthy way.

It's like the serenity prayer says: we might as well accept that there are some things we can't do anything about and that aren't necessarily likely to get better on their own, but instead we can just focus on what you can do to make other things better. I don't know why this prayer isn't more popular outside of the AA community: for anyone of a religious inclination, it has great wisdom for people in all sorts of situations.

I think it's just that this person and I were at different places in our own journeys. I didn't see accepting something as most likely permanent as a negative thing.

I wasn't saying that she ought to have adopted your way of thinking (since what works for most people doesn't necessarily work for everyone). I was trying to say that she ought to have been more accepting of your way of thinking as being right for you, even if that didn't work for her. Or at least she ought to have responded in a way that didn't seem to put you down for how you were responding to your pain.

And I'm sorry I didn't respond to the original intent of this post. I'll put that in another comment.

I don't know. It's tricky to guess what is going on for someone else, but for me, it was part of the denial stage.

Yeah, that makes sense.

There is a word in Romanian dor that has the same meaning. Oddly, I've felt this feeling for places I didn't grow up, but which are part of childhood memory. In particular, Long Island, where my father's parents lived when I was a kid. We visited there most summers during the whole month of August and spent time on the beach nearly every day, visited family friends, and enjoyed various things you couldn't get out here in Seattle, like local ice cream brands, the shape of butter on the east coast (which was different from that on the west coast), etc. And of course my grandparents' house and little out buildings, the Shop where my grandfather did most of his wood working and oil painting on canvas, and the tool shed (far less interesting to me).

There's a Portuguese word that carries the same meaning, but oddly enough, there seems to be no German word for it, even though German seems to have a lot of words for emotions that convey what type of violence you'd like to enact upon someone.

The shape of butter is different on the coasts? Interesting.

Well, it was when I was a kid. The east coast butter shape has made it out here to the west and I see it about as often as I see the shape I grew up with, which is more squat than the east coast shape. However, I don't know if the west coast shape has made it back to the east.

Hiraeth

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Hiraeth = Dor

Re: Hiraeth = Dor

Re: Hiraeth = Dor