It's a harrowing journey we've all been through, those of us with chronic illness. And I agree, for many people, the stages we go through are not limited to those around grieving someone's death or one's own impending mortality.

I never went through any phase that could be described as “feeling sorry for myself” or “wallowing in self pity”, and I never had any desire to spread the pain around: I'd often tell people I wouldn't wish my situation on my worst enemy; not even on Hitler. But I recognize some of the other stages you mentioned, especially confusion. That's got to be a big one that those of us with poorly understood conditions like fibro and chronic fatigue and dysautonomia go through. I mean, how could anyone not be confused when even the medical profession is still confused about those conditions?