Thanks so much for posting about this. I've had numerous fibrofog-induced cognitive lapses / social skills failures over my life, too. It wasn't till the past few years that I finally started to really get it that just because I didn't mean to hurt someone's feelings doesn't mean their feelings “oughtn't” to be hurt. I wish I'd developed the ability to see things from other people's points of view way earlier in life — like when I was a small kid, rather than not till my late 40s.

I have always cared about people, but I just couldn't figure out how they might feel without reading extensively people's blogs about the impact of other people's behavior, and reading advice blogs like Real Social Skills (and many, many others, especially by disabled bloggers and/or people of color).

These days, it's much easier. But it took years of me working at it — like decades — before I started to internalize an understanding of how any other person interacting with me might feel and learn to respond compassionately to how they react to my blunders.