sinisterporpoise: (Default)
 The attempts at Cross stitch did not go well, but I am not too upset by their failure. I suspected my lack of coordination might be an issue for this particular task.  It’s probably more useful right now to continue my attempts to learn additional Spanish at least. (Duolingo says that I am still at 51%.)  There’s also that project that’s been on the back burner that I should really complete. It won’t take too long if I can just bring myself to do the editing. I am, unsurprisingly, lacking the motivation for the last part.  I’ve also noticed that Udacity has added an Android development course. I may pick that up if my language studies come to a satisfactory point that lets me rest a bit.  Even though things have not improved much, I am still in a good mood.  Things are stable for now.  Now, there’s the issue of the housemate suggesting I should check into my options in Pennsylvania, but that is six months away. For now, I have time to deal with this.  It may be time to look into getting the van back on the road and taking the chance to get the Hell out of Indiana. 

I am still grateful for having had the chance to live here for three years.  I have a wonderful friend and I have met interesting people.   I’ve even settled in a bit and gotten used to the ways of the Hoosier. I will even miss establishments like Steak ‘n Shake if I should leave the Midwest behind.   However, given how much I’ve complained about how this state has treated people in my situation, I doubt I’ll miss it that much.

Nothing is certain yet, and there may even be a way out of the particular situation, although it will not be through me getting disability. I still have yet to hear back from the Indiana Vocational Rehabilitation office, and the housemate has been doing a bit more earnest job searching. I’ve even suggested she return as an adjunct professor to the Indiana Vocational Technical College, or IVY Tech. I hope this works out for her. I hope she can find the CNC job she wants as well.

I cannot prove it, but I have a bit more than a vague feeling that things are starting to get better. Now, if  there would just be some actual change in circumstances that backs up my faith.

sinisterporpoise: (Default)
 I just came back from the appointment this morning. It was just a brief session to inform me what Indiana's Office of Vocational Rehabilitation offered.  It is a job placement program, and I've not had good luck with such services in the past.  Hopefully, it'll be more useful than the temp service that placed me in a manufacturing job. (I held that job for a week before getting fired. Jobs that requires speed and a lot of gross motor skills do not work well for me.)

It lasted for about a half-hour.  There was no paperwork to sign, and the only note he wrote down during the meeting happened to be my name.  I think I might have overdressed for this appointment a bit, but I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be a job interview or just meeting with someone to set something up. It turned out to be the latter.

Now, I have to go back to bed and catch up on some lost sleep.  

Note to self: Call attorney after I finish napping.
sinisterporpoise: (Default)
 I have learned that there is a word for the type of program I and others have been forced into. It’s called workfare, and the idea started, as many of these terrible ideas do, in the United States. It started the idea that people on welfare are caught in a cycle of dependency caused by moral deficiency, and the only way to correct this is to enforce ethical behavior upon them. Of course, no one in the United States is all that concerned about workfare programs or their effectiveness or lack thereof, but similar programs have been tried in the United Kingdom. The most recent example resulted in the deaths of hundreds of people.  The ministry responsible for administering these programs denied it at first, but since had to admit that some of their overreaching policies had caused these deaths.

If similar statistics occurred in the United States, no one has tracked them. I do know plenty of people who are as bas or worse than I am who have been force into these programs because it’s the client’s responsibility to report the changes to the state agency that administers these programs.   They are not forced into work assessment tests, unlike what seems to be happening in Great Britain. However, I did see one article that said that these programs count success by the number of people who go off of the welfare rolls, not by how many people who actually find work through these programs.  Many of the cities that tried these programs saw an increase in homelessness. The only exception to this rule was, oddly enough, Indianapolis. Indianapolis’s program had one key difference from the IMPACT program that later replaced it, the contract the workfare agencies had with the city paid the agency based on its successes, and success was defined by placing people into a job that met certain wage requirements.  When the state replaced Indy’s program with IMPACT, the statistics became comparable to other cities of its size.

No one in the United States seems to be concerned about people with disabilities who are forced into the program.  The Puritan work ethic, which continues to damage this country in so many ways continues. If a person cannot get out of the program, most people assume that they are faking a disability.   Sometimes even if a person can get out of the program, people assume they are still faking and just looking for a way to game the system.

I once subscribed to the attitudes held above. I might still resent being forced into a workfare program, but I would acknowledge that they are trying to help me and get me to the point where I want to be. If I’m honest, I will say that I’d still like to be there. My reality, however, is different. I know what my limits are.  Almost every single entry-level job requires me to stand for long periods of time. I cannot do that right now.   I’ve even been told to lay off driving, but I cannot do that as long as I have to stay in a workfare program, look for work and go to interviews. No one seems to think that the requirements of these programs make certain illnesses or conditions worse.  Even if the people who run them do realize this, they seldom care.

At this point, I cannot help but think that Workfare programs exist to give middle class people who could finish college government jobs and to give politicians something to point to and say, “Look at how many people this program got off of welfare.” The fact that the need for food pantries has gone up, that an increased number of people are homeless, and that -- at least in Great Britain – there are documented deaths caused by these programs has not caused any politician to rethink the idea of workfare.

Workfare Death List UK

sinisterporpoise: (Default)
 I am going through several emotions. First, I feel happy, although I'm not sure why. I’m  feeling a sense of relief know that I have a satisfactory answer about why I’ve had ankle problems since I was a child. The third bit comes from an annoyance with the job search program. Yet another part of me feels the need to ask what boundaries are in a social context so I can avoid crossing them.

As for the feeling good, I know to enjoy these moments why they last. They will be gone soon enough, especially with the start of fall only weeks away.  I’m not looking forward to it exactly, but I expect it will be slightly easier this time around.  The colder months of the year will not be pleasant, but this time I know what to expect from them. As for the obsession, I know it will pass eventually. It does make me wonder if other joints might be similarly affected, however.

Yesterday’s interview ended quickly when I said that I could not stand for an entire shift.  I expect if I’m just as honest about my health problems that today’s interview will go the same way. If I can’t get factory work because of my condition, I should not expect to get work in a restaurant, either.  Employers aren’t going to make accommodations for a new employee if they do not have to do so.

It’s going to be a long day, and I’m woefully unprepared for it.  I hope the paperwork from my doctor’s office that will exempt me from IMPACT has shown up today. I meet with the caseworker sometime after the interview for Fuddruckers. I do not know what has caused the delay, but it should have been received and processed by now.

sinisterporpoise: (Default)
I don't know if IMPACT considers this, but if these appointments are necessary to get me back to a point where I can accept a job, if such a thing is possible, I think they should count. I'll have two doctor's appointments, a therapist appointment, and an appointment with a a physical therapist this week, which will probably take up about 5 hours total if you include travel times, which in Terre Haute almost always include getting stuck behind a train once in a while.  This twenty hours a week thing is forcing me to spend spoons that could be better spent elsewhere.


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