The State of Indiana realizes that anyone may develop a chronic illness that affects an individual's ability to work. If this happens to you, the Family and Social Services Administration is ready to provide the tools such individuals need. The state legislature developed the following safety net programs for people who do not qualify for unemployment, TANF, or other safety nets . The following document provides the resources that Hoosiers disabled by chronic illness need to continue living. Indiana residents can choose from one of three options: mooching off of friends or relatives, living on the streets and begging, or becoming a meth dealer.
Mooching Off of Friends or Relatives
If you have friends or relatives willing to take you in, the Family and Social Services Administration recommends this option. Mooching off of friends or relatives places no additional burden on the taxpayers, does not increase the rate of homelessness in the state’s urban areas, and does not violate Indiana code. We recommend that you have rich relatives or a large family to support you for an indeterminate amount of time. Having a large family increases the chances that you will survive until social security disability payments start. After alienating a relative or friend, you can move on to the next one.
Living On the Streets and Begging
This may seem like a drastic option, but it provides benefits that mooching off of friends or relatives does not. Many faith-based programs are available to help homeless adults who are not Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender. Churches and soup kitchens provide meals to people without permanent residences, and clothing drives help keep people warm during the colder months. Occasionally, local police officers will help homeless individuals with a place to stay that provides free meals and medical care. Many local ordinances prohibit panhandling, but individuals who can make legible signs can support themselves if they do well. Shelters exist to take in non-LGBT homeless adults during the harsh Midwestern winter nights.
LGBT Adults should consider changing their sinful life-style if they wish to be worthy of receiving these benefits.
Becoming a Meth Dealer
Technically, this violates federal and state laws. The Indiana Family and Social Services Administration recommends not getting caught. Getting caught dealing drugs results in a lengthy prison sentence, but being sent to prison can be beneficial for unemployed individuals. While in prison, you do not need to worry about food, housing, or medical care in many circumstances. (Some people might fall through the cracks if the guards believe you are too disabled, a member of a minority, severely mentally ill, or simply faking an illness.) You will meet meet interesting people during your prison sentence. If you manage not to get caught, you have a career that can provide you with a great deal of wealth while helping to reduce the surplus population. You are also contributing to one of the state's largest industries.
The State of Indiana wants to make sure all Hoosiers succeed, and it has provided this pamphlet to you free of charge. Good luck in your future endeavors.