sinisterporpoise: (Default)
[personal profile] sinisterporpoise
 If I'm feeling lost about the rules of a social setting, I think I'll not try to soldier on as if I did. If I'm confused and don't understand why things are done the way they are, I will take the time out and ask.  (Assuming the question is appropriate for the situation.)

I've been lost on two many things recently.

(And well, exchanging purely information is something only my nephew and I seem to be okay with.)

Date: 2017-04-27 04:30 pm (UTC)
vladdraculea: Rainbow Autistic Pride lemniscate over the black, grey, white, and purple stripes of the Asexuality Pride flag (Default)
From: [personal profile] vladdraculea
I've found I learned more by stepping back and mostly reading what others have to say while commenting only once in a while. Eventually, assuming you have a similar amount of neuroplasticity as most Autistic adults — i.e.: more than that of most allistic adults — it'll start to make more sense as your brain observes more and starts to notice patterns.

It has also helped me *immensely* to spend time reading posts from blogs like the Real Social Skills blog and others, since they break down how communications can go awry because one party didn't realize the unintended (or in some cases unconscious) meaning of their words. This is how I've learned about — and have rooted out — the vast majority of my unconscious internalized ablism, unconscious racism, etc. And it's how I've learned to identify situations where it's best not to say anything, or it's best only to say something very minimal but warm and sympathetic, like offering consensual hugs or just putting a heart or other emoji.

(Putting a heart or other emoji is also good in situations where I don't have the word-spoons to write anything more than that. Sometimes this is because I'm just exhausted and can't think of any wording at all, while at other times it may be that I would have to put in a half hour to an hour just to find the right wording — something that doesn't come automatically to me most of the time — but I just don't have the extra half hour or I don't have the spoons for fighting my brain to get it to produce something that doesn't accidentally cause hurt.)

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sinisterporpoise

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